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  • Other » Action / Adventure, Mystery / Suspense
    Re: Sword Fight

    Hi Yubbies21! I like this little story, I really do. It's very descriptive and paints a vivid image in the reader's mind. However, it doesn't over-describe, which is a good ...

    Dec 29, 2012

  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, Fantasy
    Re: The Beginnings of Nowhere

    Wow, this is great. There's something about it that grabs you from the beginning. The piece is mysterious, but it isn't hard to gather the message that the piece is ...

    Dec 29, 2012

  • Poetry » Other, Other
    Re: Preconceptions

    Really nice poem. It's simple, yet emotional. I like that you still get your message across without becoming too wordy. I love these lines: "Distant sea blue eyes, Look tremendous ...

    Nov 23, 2012

  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General
    Re: A Hole in the World - Chapter One

    I think this story has real potential. Aurum obviously has some close relationship with this "Albino Guy" and that should be explained further in the story. I have some questions ...

    Feb 28, 2010

  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General
    Re: Hunter Games (Ch. 1; pt. 1)

    I really liked this story. It gives a futuristic twist on the ever-popular multi-race aspect of stories. But yes, I agree with Griffinkeeper that if her bounty is so high ...

    Nov 30, 2009

  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General
    Re: Sylenit

    I didn't see any mistakes but, I'm just wondering what the word padded means because, you seemed to use the word a lot. Also, I would advice using her name ...

    Jul 23, 2009

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Dreams of Giants -- Chapter One, Part Two

    I haven't read the first part of your story, but I can tell just from this, that it will be good. I catches the reader and leaves a sense of ...

    Mar 22, 2009

  • Short Story » Fantasy, General
    Re: Wolfskin

    Your writing is very rich and descriptive! I really like it. "Would it interest you to learn that there is another version of the name's origins?" I would change "version" ...

    Mar 20, 2009

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: LIfe chapter 3?

    That was pretty good. Here I'll give you a review. They were sitting at are brand new, falling apart, kitchen table, drinking tea that we were supposed to be saving ...

    Mar 20, 2009

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