Smilykid

Hi Yubbies21! I like this little story, I really do. It's very descriptive and paints a vivid image in the reader's mind. However, it doesn't over-describe, which is a good ...

Wow, this is great. There's something about it that grabs you from the beginning. The piece is mysterious, but it isn't hard to gather the message that the piece is ...

Really nice poem. It's simple, yet emotional. I like that you still get your message across without becoming too wordy. I love these lines: "Distant sea blue eyes, Look tremendous ...

I think this story has real potential. Aurum obviously has some close relationship with this "Albino Guy" and that should be explained further in the story. I have some questions ...

I really liked this story. It gives a futuristic twist on the ever-popular multi-race aspect of stories. But yes, I agree with Griffinkeeper that if her bounty is so high ...

I didn't see any mistakes but, I'm just wondering what the word padded means because, you seemed to use the word a lot. Also, I would advice using her name ...

I haven't read the first part of your story, but I can tell just from this, that it will be good. I catches the reader and leaves a sense of ...

Your writing is very rich and descriptive! I really like it. "Would it interest you to learn that there is another version of the name's origins?" I would change "version" ...

That was pretty good. Here I'll give you a review. They were sitting at are brand new, falling apart, kitchen table, drinking tea that we were supposed to be saving ...