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Re: A Ray of Hope
wow. this was really awesome. A little confusing with all the Alena parts... I was kind of confused as to what was going on. Might want to clear it up ...
Dec 3, 2011 -
Re: Inner Beauty
awww!! I really love this. You really caught the feeling of initial insecurity some girls have when they see "hot" models, and then you turned around and captured the compassion ...
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: SOS
Creepy. But that's why I like it. :) One thing--the word pupils is a little awkward. Check out some synonyms, maybe. I'm guessing this is about a person who's trying ...
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: And So Burned The Rabbit Hole
Wow. This is quite interesting. I'm guessing that it's a teenage girl from a broken home who's been driven to insanity? It caught my attention really well. A couple of ...
Sep 26, 2011 -
Re: The greatest challenge facing my generation.
This was a good essay. You did very well. I like how you mentioned people like Hitler and Martin Luther, and how you generally introduced real examples instead of going ...
Aug 10, 2011 -
Re: Went Out of Line and Broke its Spine
Well now. This is really good. I like the hopeless desperation and anger, despair and resentment. I especially like the line "But when you smile that is the only time ...
Jul 19, 2011 -
Re: My Ocean
Wow. This is really good. I'm guessing it's kind of a metaphorical place in someone's mind? I love your descriptions, and your wordings. Most of all, I love the words ...
Jul 19, 2011 -
Re: The Sending of the Angels
Well now. I really like this. I like your wordings and your sentence structures :] Very poetic and calm and to-the-point. Just one thing--it's such a somber, "hard" poem, you ...
Jul 19, 2011 -
Re: Nameless
I really liked this, it's just that it was really hard for me to get what was going on...I still haven't grasped it fully xD So maybe you could work ...
Jul 8, 2011 -
Re: Tears of a Fairy
awww I love it :3 just one thing...I was kind of confused about the prologue part. I didn't see where her memory ended and the rest of the story picked ...
Jul 4, 2011 -
Re: Clown in the dark
This is really good...I'm guessing that he was the one who killed them but didn't remember it? kind of like Nikki in Heroes? I really like it...your descriptions of his ...
Jul 3, 2011 -
Re: All it Entails
Really interesting prologue/first chapter :] Just one thing--I did wonder how old Miss Bertolli was...you said she was a young woman but that could anywhere from 13 to 25...just a ...
Jul 3, 2011 -
Re: Earthheart: Prologue
Wow. This, was really intriguing. And it ended on a cliffhanger--it definitely leaves us wondering what's going to happen next. Really good. One thing I wondered--is her her boyfriend, or ...
Jul 2, 2011 -
Re: Charlie
This is really good. I love how you alternate--first a few lines of words, then a few lines of descriptions. I love this part-- So silent, this room. His sobbing ...
Jul 2, 2011 -
Re: [Post Deleted]
This one was really great. One thing I questioned, the beginning where she kisses the cross, isn't that edging toward having an idol? Even if it represents Jesus Christ, she ...
Jul 2, 2011
