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Wow. I have no idea how to start your review, but just... wow. You had me shivering the entire time. This was an exquisite read, and I'm really glad you sent me the link to this story. I think i might have to actually read the accompanying story now.

But, down to the actual review.

I loved the beginning, with an opening of dialogue. I've seen most people struggle to effectively use dialogue as the opening sentence, but you pulled it off well. I liked the small details you embedded within the story. The fact that she wore combat boots, Teresa winking. Those details did a lot to bring me, personally, into the story. I love the one line. . . 'Wendy cringed. She hated the snow.' It really tied helped tie the binding knot between beginning and ending.

One thing I don't like. Sirius says, "I'm bait". I'm sorry if this is too minute, but to me, it just seems to break the naturalness of the dialogue.

Good job remembering 'God' is capitalized, I've seen many ignore that rule.

I really don't have much to say about the story from then on, other than to say that it was excellent. I was hanging onto every word, hoping that it wouldn't end. Brilliant work, and I hope to see more of it.

P.s. Oh, and Shakyll??? I agree with you, that it may kinda seem like idolization. However, for some reason that I don't quite understand, it is in fact a common thing for a Catholic to kiss a crucifix. I can only speculate on the why of that, but whatever.

This one was really great. One thing I questioned, though....in the beginning where she kisses the cross, isn't that edging toward having an idol? Even if it represents Jesus Christ, she might be viewed as idolizing a piece of metal and relating it to God...even though it wards off the vampire. I don't know, just a thought.
But I love the story. It's intense, and good.

Wow. This was great! I can see about the similarities between our styles. This is an awesome vampire story...are you planning on continuing it? I hope so.
I'd love to see, if I was reading this as if it was a real book, a twist where Wendy sees something that makes her think that Eben is just as bad as any other vampire, but it's just a mix up, getting the wrong end of the stick. Obviously, that's is an idea/opinion. To improve? Well, just keep writing!

Good golly. That's beautiful. A little like Twilight, but hey. The whole vampire thing really suits you. Keep this up and other vampire writers might suck you in and make you one of them in no time. This is excellent vampire material.

Aww... This was great. I don't have much to say besides that the writing itself was excellent, and I think you're going to win the contest :3
-Dai