Shaelieh

Oh boy, I usually dont look at vampire stories because Im sick of them but this one needs some help. I'm sorry but I don't like your writing style. In ...

Is huggybear123 talking about the English version of naruto? Obviously that version sucks ass. Try watching the Japanese version with subtitles! Much better haha. And yes, the manga is not ...

Even if it is the intro, extend it Otherwise everyone else covered it, explain a bit more about the characters and the plot. Then I think your all set. Defiantly ...

Well lets see here, Try not to 'enter and tab' when you do actions. Your plot, you need to figure out when it is and what kind of kingdom Is ...

Here's a small comment From shaelie Dont make your sentences so long, just cut them back a bit. You use alot of interesting words and such but use simple words ...

I think you have the right idea main plot and all. But my advice is to pick either a vampire or wizard dont put both in your story, it makes ...