Salliewalker

Okay, so you wrote it free verse. There's still natural rhythm you can work with. Make variations, instead of kind of just listing imagery after imagery. Free verse doesn't mean ...

Could you explain stiff? Like as if I'm using words that don't belong to rhyme...? Or repeating one version of rhyming too much? What I meant by "tally your score" ...

Very subtle and satirical. Great poem. All I have to say is your rhythm is a bit dead in the first stanza... your other stanzas look fine. I'm sure your ...

Whoops. Ipod. xP Thanks for letting me know that~ I used to be a writer of 'really' sad and serious poems, but not anymore. I'm trying to stay away from ...

No offence taken :). Maybe I would change it if it was another poem, that had a more serious mood. I could understand you on that. But this poem was ...

I'm sorry. But I think you may be looking at this a little too deeply ;o. This was only intended to be a light, humorous poem. The narrator is a ...

Yeah--I kinda need to decide that beforehand, lol. Haha, France and corsettes do go together though, so I see where you go with that ;P. To be honest, I'm extremely ...