Rydia

Thanks, Max. I've edited the beginning a little now =)

Thanks for taking the time to review, everyone =) I'm having quite a bit of trouble revising this actually. It's not that it doesn't need some editing because I think ...

Chapter 2: Marissa stared at the man in front of her. At 29, he hadn't changed much, except for the broad shoulders and the tighter, flatter stomach [s]visable[/s] visible through ...

Edited! I hope this is better?

Fárwel ‘I – I beg your pardon?’ Quennel’s scowl was replaced by an open-mouthed gawk. [I'm quite a fan of starting chapters with a little description and here would actually ...

The Wheel of Time is an amazing series but I only wish he'd been able to finish it. Rest in peace, Robert Jordan and may your ghost writer have half ...

A few small comments/ suggestions: "Oh." He's quiet, trying to find the words to [s]say[/s] speak , not knowing what there [s]was[/s] is to say in this situation. "Well… [s]where[/s] ...

Canlyniad Jorge frowned. ‘But it’s ugly. It’s strange.’ ‘Yes.’ The watch captain jingled my lead about in his hand. [I think you should introduce this chapter with a little description ...

Cyfeiriad newydd ‘Look, I’m… I’m really sorry about all of this, Quennel.’ Pace popped his knuckles, looking at the hall floorboards. ‘I don’t understand the freaks. They’ve never been

Aflonyddwch emosiynol Cold. Still with my eyes closed, I curled up tight and wrapped my arms around myself. I tried to scrub my upper arms with my hands and still ...

Craffter busnes ‘I beg your pardon?’ The man sighed and began again. ‘What is your n-n-n-n-name?’ I grinned. His stutter was hilarious. ‘The Raven, the only hybrid out of Kiona.’ ...

Some lovely improvements! Here's another line by line with a few more suggestions. August 3, 1978 Dearest Donny, You truly made my day when you visited yesterday [I think some ...

Arhosfeydd We slept that night at another inn. This one was bigger and cleaner, but after what had happened at the last inn, Quennel wasn’t ready to entrust his hybrid ...

Thank you for the comments. I've edited it a little and this is no longer going to be flash fic. I've had an idea for a plot so I'm expanding ...

Thanks for the comments you two and Rose was a slip up. Lol. I had the name Rose stuck in my head while writing this because I was thinking Briar ...