Rydia

Hi there! Sorry this has taken me so long to get to but here I am, ready to review :D Specifics 1. Really good opening. It sets the scene beautifully. ...

Hai! Let's see what you have here then... Specifics 1. I love that first line/ those first few lines. They really pack a punch and draw the reader in so ...

Hai. Time for thirteen, unlucky for some huh? Let's see how you fare... Specifics 1. I think the ketter could be stronger, more emotional, more thought out. She thinks he's ...

Hi again ^^ Specifics 1. The repetition of pain, pained, painfully in that first paragraph really takes away the power of the word. Sometimes repetition really works well, but it's ...

Hai! I bet you'd thought I'd forgotten about this but nope, not me! Not my style ;) I'm very slowly making my way through and hopefully will manage to hit ...

Guess who! Uh yeah... that wasn't hard ^^ Specifics 1. I like the opening but the last line just knocks the whole thing down. It was a beautiful set up ...

Oh look, you get two in a row this time ;) Specifics 1. Do we really need so much explanation of the name? No. Cut it. The reader doesn't want ...

Specifics 1. The first sentence could use some work. It's fragmented and awkward; not the best way to start a chapter. At least use 'The wind' but it would be ...

Hi! I'm quite happy to review it anyway so no worries and no problem :) Right, let's see what you have here... Specifics 1. Why does he keep stopping to ...

Hi! Well let's see what you have here... Specifics 1. He was bent and sucking like a landed carp. His eyes vacant, peering out at the canvas from looped bruise ...

Hai! Let's see what you have here... Specifics 1. Names. I am actually going to have to start here. Usually I am willing to turn a blind eye in fantasy ...

Hi! Sorry about the delay on this, but I'm finally here to take a look at the revised edition :) I'm loving most of the changes! Just a few suggestions... ...

Hi! Sorry about the delay on this, I've been on a bit of a reviewing break, but hopefully it shouldn't be too long before I get to chapter two now. ...

Hi! Sorry I didn't respond to this earlier, if I'd looked at how short it is, I'd have come sooner! But never mind, here's a few things for you to ...

Hai! Apologies for the delay, my dear, but here I am to review :) Specifics 1. The beginning looks messy. I think it could be tidied up and still have ...