Prosithion

It was good, but you have to do a lot of proofreading. I think it has the possibility to become a really good story. However, I think there should be ...

It was good, but there were a few wording errors. I'd have to agree with Dream Deep. Pretty good job. This story could really be something. :)

That was a awesome story. I've got absolutely no comments.you should get that published in a magazine. :D