Prosithion

“Not much of a view, is it?” John turned away from the window. I really liked this intro. beginning a story with dialogue always shakes things up, and it really ...

Ok, first off, there were a lot of grammar mistakes, as others have pointed out. You need to read voerthis stuff more precisely. Mostly they were problems with punctuation, but ...

This was a very well written story. A few quibbles though. First off, the ravens seem very... well, very human. They're unusually smart, and understanding of human nature. I would ...

I really liked this. It's very well written, and keeps the reader interested. I can only assume from this story that we're dealing with zombies. I love zombie stories, and ...

hmm, this one was... interesting, to say the least. It answers a few questions, but creates more then it answers. We still don't know what's going on, other then the ...

I hate to say this, and it may just me being dumb, but I have no idea what is going on. I got the first two chapters, but now I'm ...

hmm, I liked it, but there are a few things that I want to point out. First, you start the story off with "He". It seems a little awkward. try ...

“Well, I better go,” I say, knowing that being late for detention wouldn't be the best way to begin detention. I kiss him goodbye and walk to detention with him ...

This was interesting. As it was mentioned before, you don't really draw the reader in, with the first paragraph. You need a good hook to grab their attention. I was ...

This chapter was ok, but I didn't quite like is as much as the first two. By the time he woke up, the blood should have mostly been dry. I ...

I'm back! I liked this chapter even more then the first one. There was lots more action to keep the reader involved, and it flowed better. I think that Mrs. ...

Hmm, this was interesting. I like the plot. It's interesting, and pulls you in. The main thing is the science. Now, you can ignore this, I just can't really get ...

I liked it, but there are a few things that I want to point out. First, you need to space it out a little more. My eyes were going buggy, ...

hmm, I liked this, but it was very depressing. I'm all depressed now. On to the critique. Some of the rhythym and rhymes seem forced, try having it flow a ...

I absolutely loved the description. It was expansive and it let you see exactly what was going on. Maybe, instead of just telling what happened, this would be the perfect ...