Octave

Comments in red. Brooklyn “Brooklyn could you please get up ? We' re going to be late for the cinemas, and the boys are [Deleted only] going to beat us!” ...

Comments in red. Only moments later, I hear another knock at the door. Could Sarah and Helena be back already? I open the door to see my sister’s glowing smile. ...

Comments in red. I tiptoe silently down the softly carpeted What do you mean softly carpeted? "Softly" modifies carpeted and therefore makes little sense to me. Mind clarifying? Also, there ...

Comments in red. This was a task my english teacher set for her grade 12 class and I thought I'd give it a try. The instructions were as follows: write ...

Comments in red. This is just a short little thing that I wrote because I was bored. Don't worry, you aren't missing anything- this is all there is to this ...

Comments in red. And don't worry about being morbid - fairytales often are. Golden Once upon a Time in a land not quite so far away, there lived a little ...

Comments in red. After breaking up the longest relationship in his life, he began Began, started, continued, etc. These words slow down the sentence and weaken the prose. So maybe ...

Comments in red. The night sky was clear and still. Not a good beginning. It's pretty weak, and it's not compelling at all. The city was quiet but for the ...

I love fairytales, so I'm gonna crit this. Comments in red. This is a story I wrote for a creative writing project. It's an adaptation of the fairytale Little Red ...

Comments in red. EDIT: Will finish later. 1200 Hours April 5th, 25 AS SPEW Docks YWS Station It had taken a couple years to build, but finally the SPEW Gryphon ...

Good ending. First things first, your character felt a little flat. Apart from his inclination for music I don't really feel much for him, as he lacked a few thoughts. ...

Comments in red. Well, I've had several tries at this and I hope the latest is an imporvement. What I really want advice on is, should I chew the second ...

Sorry it took me a while to get to this. Anyway, comments in red. Background info, I started on this book a few months ago, even uploaded a few chapters ...

Comments in red. There was nothing to hear except a cold, impenetrable silence that rested heavily upon the dankness of our cramped basement. This has an awful lot of adjectives ...

Comments in red. It was dark. Too dark for humans to exist in. It was the feeling of darkness that plagued the world. Well, you certainly have my attention. I ...