Nutty

Ahem. Okay... First off, welcome to YWS! Now to your story. I found it confusing, I wasn't sure what the main character was doing for a start, and it only ...

Hey welcome to YWS ^^ I don't really crit or read poerty, (I don't really understand it, to be honest) but I have to mention one thing- one of the ...

The landlord had come out to our cart per Quennel’s 'Our' is first person. He tied the Raven’s lead to the bed rail and then went out the door. Why ...

Sorry this has taken a while, I've had the evillest cold and haven't bee able to think straight for days >

Well, I'm here, as promised, and wow... I'm not sure I can really be of much help! This is great. Your descriptions are fluid, not forced, which made it a ...

Hey ^^ One beautiful night in the peaceful town of Dicerton an old van chugged along on the street. For a first line, it didn't really grab my attention. It ...

Hey! ^^ Well, I must say, I enjoyed reading this. It was interesting enough for me to relax and read, rather then force my way through. Well done. That was ...

Haha, I hear you. Sixteen is just a wonderful age, no? Unfortunatly for me I get both boredom and drama. Funfun. So what exactly is this? If it's a blog, ...

Hey! I got here, eventually. Sorry for the wait :wink: (ahh but we all know how the story of the ugly duckling ends) I didn't really like this, not in ...

With a sigh, I stood With a sigh, I stood and carried my empty lunch-ware to the front. I'm reading double :wink: Hmm... very well done. I could just see ...

I still love it. ^^ Again, I can't see much to change... and I guess that wraps up the 'crying is out of character' thing. In fact, her actions fit ...

Yet again, very nice. I still don't understand why Mella and Daryl are together....if you can call it that, but I guess that is to be revealed. The only typo ...

Very well done, PA ^^ There's not much I can add, really, I hate to make a judgment before I've read the later parts (which I shall do of course) ...

Hey Fabien. Long time no see ^^ I found the start a little confusing. We never found out who 'she' was. I would still like to have a little more ...

Crouching behind the couch, watching her husband be slaughtered…the maniac’s eyes meeting hers… Be should be 'being', since these lines are in present tense. that she would not get parole, ...