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OK, I edited some more. This is my final version so . . . on to chapter 2.

Hey, if I can satisfy you when your worst, then I should be able too write best.

Haha. So, I edited it. Mainly I made a few sentences longer, added a few more personal thoughts, and put a space in between each new paragraph. Tell me if ...

Wow! Re-reading I really see what you mean. This might take some time. :)

Thanks for the review. I've been told many times my details are not enough. My question would be: in what part of my writing are the details vague? Is it ...

Glad to hear the parallel world idea is appealing. It's been over ten chapters since I wrote this, but I'll go back and try to improve it. :)

OK, so, great to hear you can connect with the airsoft. Now, don't feel bad, because you review does seem negative, but hey, I put my stuff up for getting ...

You could perhaps divide the chapter at the end of the poem as well as at the beginning of the desert scene.

One more thing. although this is your decision, I would suggest you shortening the chapters. At least for me, when I sit down at my laptop to read I like ...

This was well done. I have to say that the you are disgusting could refer to so many things in life, could even be replaced by others words such as ...

Sometimes there are characters that aren't really a big part of the story, but they can still grab your attention with their actions.

No suggestions at the moment, but I'm writing a book entitled Is It a Dream. In my book I'm outside one day playing in the woods when I slip and ...

That was amazing! So many emotions so perfectly described. Sad but hopeful at the same times with a powerful message. Great job, you have a gift at this.

Haha. Very funny poem. My family has a cat and it isn't very fat, but it has a ton of fluffy hair that makes her look real big.

Short and great! I can just see the darkness, then in the center a small speck of light begins to form, eventually bursting forth into colorful rays of light. A ...