Meep

Forgive me for denying all my silent judgment cries This is the only line that really doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem. Somethig about it just ...

I like the first and third stanzas best. The second and fourth are not so great, and the fifth isn't bad but I don't love it, you know? I think ...

Kim, if you are enjoying writing this, you should keep writing this. That's what matters. If you don't think it's very good, then that's just fine - you can always ...

Please, please, please do not post immediately after yourself. This isn't a chat room, and unlike some of those ginormous websites (like, I'unno, Gaia Online), you don't need to bump ...

I'm not going to do a line-by-line review (at least, not right now), but here are some things to keep in mind. First, crafting. Proof-read for punctuation and other mechanics. ...

A scream shattered the night like a pane of glass, sending glittering shards of sound spiraling off into the night. Okay, there are a few things wrong with this sentence. ...

I liked the meaning of this a lot, but on a structural level (word choice, sentence structure) it could use a lot of work. Try reading your work out lout, ...

I only saw the back of him and he was walking with another jock. Don't use words like "jock;" they're stupid stereotypes. Say that he was hanging out with the ...

I think this is really sweet, but at the same time, it could use a lot of work. I'm going to start with the title. I say this to everyone, ...

I think it's a little awkward for you to mention that this was the happiest he'd ever been so shortly after discussing funeral preparations, you know? Plus, you have to ...

I liked this a lot, but ... "You have to," said Fred. "It's bad enough they lost me--if you give up, they may as well move to Azkaban for all ...

hello , darling . ¶ you look a bit gaunt . a little [s]bit[/s] anorexic . kind of hungry . ¶ eat me , won't you? [s]just a nibble[/s] I'm ...

I didn't like the opening line. It was very emo. The first line is the most important one, so you have to make sure it really grabs the reader. I ...

"Wanna see something cool?" Roscoe asked. "Define 'cool'," Llewelyn said. You might want to put something here about how Roscoe has questionable tastes, or that Llewelyn had seen one too ...

Adding a title might help get more reviews, but I understand how hard it can be to pick the perfect title - or come up with any title at all. ...