Luvzi12

Okay, post edited :) Any new criticisms? Am not sure I like it as much to be honest, but what do you all think?

I wonder why that Arekkesu guy did that? Don't worry, I know you wouldn't plagiarise =D Your name is not tarnished!

Thanks very much to both of you for your input! I'm not sure about the teddybear line either, but also the real story behind it involves a teddybear, so I ...

I agree that you should keep the line about praying, but it's the 'without ceasing' part that bothers me. Maybe change it to: 'she would pray without rest', or: 'forever ...

Thanks for your input Periwinkle! I agree with you on some of the points, specifcally a few word changes, such as 'elder' to 'older', but I think maybe you've missed ...

Haha! That is so funny and true! But the opposite happens too, I told my mum that i would be out all day going to see my friend Sam in ...

Whoops, on that last post I meant to say 'I think it should be in fiction '. Sorry about that x

Okay that's fine! Just PM me or something when you do :D

Yeah but even though the events are true (yeah, my Dad is this dumb and annoying!) they have been embellished quite a bit, and I think I could extend it ...

Okay, now I'm reviewing chapter 2! other scents she wasn’t sure of helping her racing heart to calm and slow. I don't think you need both words 'calm' and 'slow.' ...

Thanks, grammatical error modified hehe! The biography bit is a little flat, but it's because I started out writing it as a biography of her mother as a sort of ...

Good luck with wanting to be a proof reader! I want to be a literary critic, I always said from the age of three that I wanted to be a ...

it's weird when you dislike your own creation, isn't it? Haha! No, I don't think so! I think we're our own worst critics and it's normal to dislike our own ...

(sorry, I accidentally clicked 'ALT & S' so it sent before I'd finished!) So, to continue: I didn't understand this sentence, did you mean 'like a man who knows...', or ...

The only suggestion I had was pointed out by Gadi, so I just have to agree with everyone else that his was a well-written poem by an adept writer. I ...