Luvzi12

Hi! I'm here to review :) A hazy green mist hung lightly over the blue-gray city buildings, while a still breeze rippled through the mild night air. The first sentence ...

The beginning of this reminded me of Philip Larkin's poem, "This Be The Verse", which begins "They fuck you up, your mum and dad." Now onto the critique: "They got ...

@Ultraviolet you shouldn't feel silly for writing a critique longer than the original piece, there's an art to writing succinctly, which is why writing picture books for children is so ...

Honestly, JemJive, I much preferred the original as I remember it. Mainly it's the last word "fake", it just seems so unrelated to the rest of it. I think the ...

So your teacher wanted you to write Hamlet in short form? XD Here are my suggestions: in a land called Arb It's not necessary to say where he lives, you ...

I liked the poem! The main suggestion I have is to swap it around. I think that rather than having the two stanzas as saying something different like Suzanne suggests, ...

Hi there! I'm your reviewer today :) Firstly, I'm confused about your use of the word 'lain', did you mean 'lane', as in a country lane, or 'lain' as in, ...

Nice! I really liked this poem! Especially the ending: 'Taking the same path up / Down', that was a really great line. OK, now onto the nitpicks (be warned, I'm ...

Wierdly I posted a story that is an adaptation of Hansel and Gretel [check it out if you have time please! Link is in my signature] & I also I ...

This was really good for a first short story, you write really well. I'll go through a few nitpicks and then my overall response at the end :) People fear ...

Wind and snow blew across the almost empty streets of a slumbering New York City. Mikey jabbed his fingers under his armpits as he sat against the cold bricks of ...

Hi! This was a really good piece! I really loved all the imagery you used, you're good at descriptive writing, which is great for the reader to really picture the ...

Good story, I really enjoyed it. Just a few points to make- She makes a face like when someone steps in dog feces. Maybe this is just the American/English divide, ...

Yes I loved it too! Really great work :) It wasn't at all what I expected and I found it incredibly entertaining. Sorry I don't have any critique to give, ...

Hi, I'm Emma and I'm reviewing your piece today :) I lay here. Nothing enters my mind. In the first sentence the tenses are mixed up. It should either be ...