Lumos

Hi Acerstorm! This is not normally something I would read (I'm not much of a religious-y person), but I have to say I really enjoyed this piece! It's almost as ...

Oohh, I didn't expect that ending! I did question the fact that he found the army on foot after 7 days of traveling when the army had been traveling for ...

Hi Nymeria! I agree with MJTucker - this was a very long story, and some of the scenes did seem unnecessarily long. I would definitely suggest shortening this piece or ...

Hi Jyva, stopping by for a quick review! I'll be honest, starting a story with a backstory is one of the worst ways to start a story. Although you're not ...

Hi there! Just stopping by for a quick review. :) At first, I was unsure of where or what the point of your story was. It just seemed to be ...

Hi there! I feel as if your story was a little rushed. I agree with Elijah - I find it strange he willingly accepted a fate like that. I also ...

Hi Poopsie! My first suggestion would be to cut down the length of the paragraphs. This is a merely my personal preference (although hopefully I'm not the only one)... long ...

Wow! What a sad ending. My grandma recently passed, she had dementia. It's very heartbreaking to watch a loved one go through something like this. I remember once she thought ...

Hi Lauren2010! Your story has a great start - the first paragraph starts a good tone! It did have a bit of a slow start, but I am curious to ...