Lena.Wooldridge

Lol, thank you so much! That was very helpful :D This wasn't really supposed to be in "farmer talk".... It's loosely based on my and my ex, so its the ...

You don't have to substitute the word "rebels" with anything. Just remove it completely. ie: "Show yourself!" instead of "Show yourself, Rebel!" (I dunno if you used this exact dialogue ...

You should change the rating on this to 16+ for language Just saying. Cheers, Lena

Just wanted to say that I find it odd that you said that Ben loved the girl at the end. I'm one of those people who can't stand teenagers who ...

Thanks everyone. I've already run this through spell-checker (I copied and pasted it directly from Microsoft Word), so there really should be no spelling errors :)

Okay, so I know you are new to YWS, but there's some protocol when you publish stuff. Like, you need to proofread this. There's no capitalization, the punctuation is bad, ...

1) In the next couple of scenes, you realize that she's different from David in that he's more driven than she is. He is also very feminine, whereas she is ...

I will review this as soon as I have time ^^ Promise. -Lena

Biting someone on the stomach is much more sexual than hitting them on the stomach.. Haha. And it's just weird. And, technically, all right is two words, but it's okay ...

Your very welcome :) Remember, that for every thing you post, you need to do 3 reviews of other people's work! I've seen that you have been posting a lot ...

Please don't call me immature, I'm just telling you how the general population reads. And how you can ensure that your writing will actually be thoroughly read.

Okay, well everyone is going to view this as a joke. It seems that you are not taking it seriously, at all. Just to be honest.

haha, that's crazy. But what were you looking for when you posted this?

Did you fail this assignment?

I made some suggested edits, but would still appreciate more critique (: Thanks Everyone! -Lena.