Lena.Wooldridge

I loved this. I loved Pete's character. You did a really good job of creating a realistic little kid. My main issue was with the way in which Rachel told ...

Overall, I truly did like the way the sentences flowed. It reminded me of the phrasing in Frankenstein or The Scarlet Letter . However, in your attempt to create this ...

Um, wow, this was really weird. 1. What is Padma's motive in killing Tim? 2. All of your semicolons ( ; ) are used incorrectly. 3. Your dialogue needs help. ...

First off, the formatting on this needs to be fixed. This is no fault of yours - YWS just sort of messes up all of your indentations and such. So ...

The fact that this speaks directly to the reader makes it very readable and easy to connect to. Usually I do not like works that say "you," but this is ...

The darkness was complete; compressing, suffocating, choking. A rule of thumb with semicolons is that both sides of the semicolon must be complete sentences. In this case, the semicolon should ...

I don't really know what to say, except I don't see why you are trying to explain your story to Sargsauce, telling him he "didn't read it" when really there ...

1. How old are the main characters? Like Lethero said, if the boy was a teenager he would be fighting for the military at this time. 2. There were no ...

Hey, I really liked the parts when you were describing the way the woman looked and wondering about what she'd gone through. I can totally relate - I make up ...

This is easily one of the best short stories I have red on this site. Stark red numbers glared at him I don't know if I would use the word ...

“Must be a storm coming , ” I said. "Must be a storm coming," I said. One of the commanding officers just laughed. “That’s just the sound of the shells ...

“What…what happened exactly?” “Well, you’d have to go back to the year 1935, October 11th 1933 to be exact. The day my father became a Nazi solider.” So... Cliche... It ...

It's impossible to get pregnant from dry sex. Sorry to ruin your whole story, but the guy would have had to blow a giant load right over her vagina, and ...

Just wanted to tell you that all of your semi-colons are used incorrectly. Remove them and, in most cases, replace them with simple commas. Remember that the area on both ...

This was obviously very well written. Katy appears to be a very really character. blush hid her cocaine-reddened nose Blush is used to make one's cheeks red. Putting it on ...