Lauren2010

Hey! Really sorry for the delay, I've been super busy lately and somehow this chapter slipped by me. I'm still following the story, don't worry! :) I'll only make a ...

Sorry for the delay! I enjoyed this chapter, and the way the story is heading now. Conflict is always good :) My comments: I agree with Rosey, the sixteen year ...

I really liked this chapter! One small suggestion, though, is to really enforce that Crys and her parents don't get along from the very beginning. I don't remember if you ...

Nice chapter! The only major thing I want to comment on is Crys and Tony. Their relationship doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Like, I understand that they ...

Hey Darkness, I'm Lauren and I'm going to review for you today. I'm just going to go ahead and nitpick through the entire piece as it isn't very long. My ...

Lovely chapter! I remember reading the first one of it you posted...but not enough to distinguish massive differences. This one does seem to flow very well though, and (if it ...

Hey there Jaimini Esme pointed out your dialogue, and to reinforce what she said check out this article here that a YWS member wrote on dialogue. It is very good, ...

O.o Dead parents! Nice twist there! There wasn't much to say about this chapter. I may have noticed one grammatical error...but I can't find it now so maybe someone else ...

"Ooh," Greg gave an excited shiver as he came up behind me "a cat fight. That's hot. I'm soup for that." You misses a space between so and up. So ...

Sorry I'm a bit late after your PM but I've been busy. And yeah, I changed my pic sorry you were lost! xD Wow, I really liked this chapter! Really ...

I read it all! And really enjoyed it. A secret between you and me, I've heard so much about this around the site (on your blog particularly) and have been ...

Another nice chapter. Only one or two things this time... I'm concerned with the amount of time she spent training. Only 2 weeks? For someone who was apparently out of ...

Hey there, back again for another review. ;) Alright. This was a pretty good chapter, but I think it could be even better . A few things... 1) And so ...

Aw poor Millie, poor Noah. :( Great chapter though! You did a very nice job of conveying Noah's grief, and I liked how Dreico tested Millie. I'm glad she seems ...

O.O plot twist! You have some very nice action in this chapter. The men showing up, Riley turning human, Shanna's parents supposedly knowing what the heck is going on. Makes ...