Lauren2010

Hey Blanch! This was really interesting! I like the concept, and the way you wrote it really fits the story. Now onto my nitpicking: When I saw my death she ...

Hey Auteur. It's really neat that you're actively trying to work on your writing skills like character development. It's something everyone should do from time to time. :) Anyways. I ...

Oh, I love Jimmy. Romantic tension is jsut the best. ;) It's just so obvious both guys are into her, but Crys is so freaked out by the whole thing.. ...

Hey again! I only have one nitpick this time: It was confident in its stride; it knew I was defenceless . It's defenseless. Well...I thought it was, but I ran ...

Hey, sorry for the delay. I've been so busy with school ending and graduation and stuff. This was a pretty good chapter. I don't have any grammar things to nit-pick ...

Hey! Nice chapter! I really liked Crys's breakdown there. I was waiting for something like that to go down. Even the toughest girls get worn down under all this change ...

I really enjoyed this chapter, probably more than the last. It had less direct action than the previous chapter, but I think it was better written overall. It just read ...

Hello Attolia! I'm gladly here as requested. :) I really enjoyed this a lot. Both Jacqueline and Adele are very intruiging characters. I really admire the way you portray them, ...

You stay away from our daughter you asshole! If you lay just one hand on her-” Hey! Another good chapter! I was definitely hooked through the part about her parents. ...

Hey there Nightmare! Lauren here to review :) The dream scene was very interesting, but left me disappointed. One of the things about dream scenes is usually the reader doesn't ...

I really liked this! It was very good, a nice story. The only thing is I don't see how this belongs in Fantasy Fiction. Did you perhaps accidently place it ...

Hmm, this was quite interesting. I was intruiged through the whole thing, but was left wanting so much more. Is this a part of a bigger work? If not, then ...

Hey Scarlette! This was quite amusing. I like the humor, and would like to see more of it. Though, there are many places where things here could be expanded upon. ...

Nice chapter! I like Scott, but something makes me feel a little wary about him too. It's rather exciting. I can't wait to see what comes of his role. :) ...

Hey maegardens! This was pretty interesting, but I feel like I'm being held at a distance from the story. Instead of telling what happens through narration, try showing us what ...