LadyAquaticaML

It isn’t illegal to go into Xing, and vice versa, so other’s, with passports, can enter each other’s borders without minimal to no trouble. I'm pretty sure you meant 'others.' ...

A solider was on the stairwell now, shooting of an SMG. Slugs turned the door to cheese. It sounds like you have a ray gun that turns stuff into cheese. ...

If the "BIRD" is supposed to be in all caps, put it in italics or quotes to show that it's not a real bird. “Hi, are you new here? I’ve ...

I think the overall concept was a good idea. It was a wonderful piece but you could change a few things. Like the others have stated, Neville is too unaffected ...