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LaBelletrist

  • Short Story » General, General Re: My Brother's News

    I agree with the above reviewer - this has potential, but you need to space things out and fix a few things, for example... There are quite a few holes ...

    Mar 3, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Where I Belong (Extended)

    I like this, but it seems to have one problem - the emotions aren't given enough detail. Yeah, the other reviewers said it too, but I'll say it again; we ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Freedom Awaits: Chapter 1

    I like the idea of this, but you need to expand on your characterization - we don't see too much about who these people are. We don't know what they ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Erased

    I don't know exactly what section this should go in - it feels strange to be here, but it isn't exactly prose or poetry, either. It's unique, and I like ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Sunset Sand

    There are some unanswered questions in this piece that are relatively important - who is this girl, and why is she stuck with this man? She mentions the cuts -- ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: The Gift (Contest Entry) - Edited.

    I didn't expect this was non-fiction at first -- well, other than it being in the other category... It's written like a story, and I like that. I'm interested to ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Observatory

    I think the problem with these stories is mostly that they don't read like fiction - they read like scare stories in an internet safety lecture you get in school. ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Bread

    Ouch... this piece is harsh. In a good way, of course, but... wow. However, you wanted criticism, so I'll get there. The switch between the characters is a little hard ...

    Feb 27, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Dangerous Games

    I like this - no, it doesn't make too much sense on it's own, but when viewed symbolically it says a lot. You learn tons from a relationship or friendship ...

    Feb 25, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Public Displays of Affection

    I love how you contrasted the two couples in this, it was an adorable comparison. The humor in the fifth line is perfect too. I can totally relate to your ...

    Feb 25, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Tic. Tac. Toe.

    First, I'd like to say I like this. A lot. It's got a really good mood, and is incredibly interesting. One thing I'd like to say is that there seems ...

    Feb 24, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Perfection.[Preface]

    Hi! I really like your story - my biggest complaint, to be honest, is that it's too short. :] As previously noted, your descriptions are awesome; I could visualize everything ...

    Feb 24, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Death Of Penny Lane

    Hi! I really liked this piece, but let me do some nitpicking first; "Dear Penny." Should be "Dear Penny , " "As ungraceful as the sentence was , it was ...

    Feb 22, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Never Like Pink

    The concept of this is good, and I like the characters, but you broke one of those fundamental writing rules; don't tell, show. This story is almost completely telling; there ...

    Feb 19, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Powers

    First, I wanna say I *REALLY* like this concept so far. It's just... for lack of better word, cool. I also really like the prologue style. Not much is yet ...

    Sep 28, 2010


I should infinitely prefer a book.
— Mary Bennet, Pride and Prejudice