Korlix

Thanks for the feedback! I'll think what I'll make of it, but for the time being I'll try to collect as much feedback as possible to then redraft the story. ...

Thanks for the review :).

Here you go! :)

Accidentally submitted it twice... Do not know how to delete :S.

Yeah--- had to re-upload it... Now i can't delete this version. Don't know how to delete it. Any ideas?

Thank you very much for your review, i must say i am very much impressed. I will change the story before it is fully completed as this is the first ...

Very detailed review and i will use the constructive criticism to improve the story as a whole! On a side note, this is part of the English AS coursework that ...