Karsten

Thanks so much for your comments, everyone. I'm very grateful for your help. :)

I didn't want Talia to come across as a little child, but rather a upset teen. But thanks for pointing this out, now I have more things to work on. ...

Every word of Jenthura's review is genius.

I'm sorry - I didn't intend to confuse the issue even more! :P The bad guys need the protagonist specifically because of her relevant skills and experiences, but they're paranoid ...

Thanks for your comments, Hippie - I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it! I'm glad you mentioned plot confusion, because I wasn't sure if that was coming across clearly enough. (Necromancers ...

Thanks very much for your thoughtful comments, napalmerski and Jigs. Plenty for me to think about! I really appreciate your time. :)

Who's the publisher, SRFire? Your website doesn't say. :)

I read all the way to the end, and with great enjoyment. :) Nice work.

That is a kickass voice you have there. I like it. :)

Just to be mindful. The max distance most would be able to see should still be able to see it from far away but not excessively far. Height of mountain ...

I really like this. Good voice, good use of sentence structure, great characterisation. I'd read on. :)

I'm glad, Nathan. If you'd like to repost your edited version, I'd be happy to look at that. :) Thank you for your comment, it's fine i didn't wince! if ...

I'm glad you recovered from the shock, Rebel. Critique always stings, and I think the first time is the worst. I hope my comments helped once the hurt wore off. ...

Thanks, I really appreciate that. I totally agree with you on description and stuff like that. My main goal right now is to get the story down, then edit it ...

Writeup of the line-edit comments from the .doc file: Prologue comment - The prologue felt quite repetitive in places. Ideas tend to be repeated 2-3 times: the idea that Scarlet ...