Karsten

Hi skjold, I struggled to follow this story at all because of technical problems with the writing itself. You asked not to be reviewed on "grammer" and spelling, but I'm ...

Hi there, I thought the writing here was readable and the dialogue had a few good one-liners, but overall, I'm having problems sympathising with the protagonist - he's coming across ...

Hi Dr. Who, a man who clearly has excellent taste in television, I'm afraid I struggled a bit with this piece. It's loaded with errors - look how many spelling ...

Robert Newcomb's The Fifth Sorceress. Regurgitated Hero's Journey knockoff made notable by its misogyny, homophobia and Nazism . :roll:

Hi octocoffee, This was smooth and well-written. My key problem is a realism issue. I know that the Sara character's hypothermia will turn out to have a magical cause or ...

Hi Tyler, I read this all the way to the end because the writing was smooth. I'm in two minds about whether I'd read on at this point, and I'd ...

Hi Ronnok, Welcome to the fantasy forum! I think the writing here is readable, but I'm afraid I didn't enjoy it as much as Lorrilrakest or gsp. I struggled with ...

Hi KJ, This is excellent. Your style is fluent and lyrical without being purple, and I thought a lot of the emotional content was spot-on: the protagonist's mother often trying ...

Hi shanan-cat, I could make a guess at what's bugging Jetpack here: Sorry this review isn't much help, but I can't put my finger on why I'm not jumping to ...

Hi tigerwolf4, It's great that you're starting a novel in my favourite genre, epic fantasy. Sadly, I'm not sure this introduction is starting in quite the right place. It's just ...

Hi Miniauthor, This is an engaging piece that drew me in and occasionally made me laugh. It's pretty impressive for something you wrote so quickly. I'd read on. I did ...

Hi WritingWords, I was able to follow this piece from beginning to end, but at this point, I'm not sure that I would read on. The key problem for me ...

Hi angels-symphony, I think my key problem with this piece is the characterisation. The dialogue feels melodramatic to me. People don't complain about being cooped up by their stupid parents ...

Hi DrPepper, Following up on Awake's comments about this not reading like a real English setting, differences you might find helpful: * We don't express dates as September 2nd, but ...

Hi Blinkasy, I have mixed feelings about some parts of this story, but by the ending I was pretty interested. I'm ambivalent toward the 18th-century voice. On the one hand ...