Karsten

Now, my favorite part: You've jumped to conclusions =). Have I wrote that it's just a fighting tourney? Do you know already what the tourney is really like? No. Did ...

Hiadel, I can't quite figure out whether your constant use of narrative summary is deliberate or accidental. So I have a question for you - Is there a reason why ...

Hi Maddy, I'm afraid I had difficulty with this piece. My primary problem was with the writing. The grammar is poor, suggesting a lack of proofreading. Misused words are creating ...

Hi Keisa, This was an interesting piece. I feel like I'm already slightly too familiar with this setting - generic 1984-type dystopian future - but the lack of parents was ...

Hi bookgeek, While I enjoyed some elements of this story, overall I felt that it was let down by serious and persistent grammar problems. Nearly every sentence features an accidental ...

Hi Hiadel, Overall, I feel ambivalent about this piece. I'm not sure I agree with your decision to tell everything that happened with narrative summary rather than show us the ...

Hi mminc, Just some quick comments for you today. I found the opening dry. It's essentially an infodump, a pile of information about the protagonist's physical appearance and family tree, ...

Hi Barrett, Like the other readers, I found this a little confusing, but I also enjoyed it very much. The opening paragraph is particularly powerful. You have many such powerful ...

I'm sorry - I don't know where napalmerski as got this information from. It is certainly not published and I am a bit upset by this. I came here for ...

It takes more than two hours for people to read and review your work - particularly when those two hours are, for a significant proportion of YWSers, in the middle ...

Hi Explosive Pen, This was a pleasure to read. Parts of your writing are breathtaking. What I'm not seeing at the moment is the plot that drives this story forward ...

Karsten>> Thanks! Easiest critique you had to do, right? ;) :D I love giving unconditional praise. My critique partner gets that so rarely that it freaks her out. Don't freak ...

*sigh* why can't everyone get over Twilight and stop writing stories so heavily based off of it? It's my own personal hell. Please don't post another chapter. :( I frequently ...

Just a drive-by comment, Lena. I assumed within the first paragraph that the protagonist was a paedophile, and as I read on, I only became more certain of that. (1) ...

Hi Amie, I'll try to be as "brutally constructive" with this review as you wanted. :P This piece suffers from very poor grammar. You've consistently misused commas to create ungrammatical ...