Kale

No need to be sorry. There's lots of different styles out there, and if I weren't deliberately aiming for an old tale style, what you said would be spot-on.

Thanks for the review. The lack of description and the repetition are deliberate. I'm mimicking the style of old tales which tend to repeat certain phrases (which I poke fun ...

Thanks for the review. This is just a small part of the story, so I will definitely be writing more. I'll let you know when the next bit is posted. ...

And what would you suggest?

That's fine. There's no rush.

Even if the theme is how difficult it can be to get a grasp of how one feels?

You nailed the question mark at the end. I was wondering if anyone would even register that last bit as a question, though it isn't the only punctuation mark I ...

Thank you. The lack of punctuation does reflect something, and I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on what it reflects (once you get back from your holiday, perhaps).

Thank you for your praise. I'm quite curious about the different ways you read the poem. Would you mind telling me, so I could see how effective (or not) my ...

Except, that "There is too much to do and to feel, so I end up feeling nothing and doing nothing and I wonder if I am dead." is only one ...

No problem!

Drive-by comment just to say that, technically, this isn't a haiku, but a senryu. Both haiku and senryu have the same basic syllable structure, but haiku are all about nature ...

This piece needs much more than just a new stanza an some rephrasings to make the intended message clearer since the structure of the poem is still talk about LGBTQIA ...

They didn't, and in some places, like the ninth stanza reading as even more racist than the original, the made things worse. The addition of the new stanza is a ...

As I already mentioned in my review, it reads that the lack of moral clarity and gay pride marches are direct results of the Civil Rights movement. There is a ...