Kale

Silly person. I don't particularly like poetry. I happen to prefer excellently-written prose. :P That said, I'm afraid this piece just doesn't hit the right notes for me. From the ...

I drink to the point that I believe I can free you and I Wouldn't it be nice to lay in the grave dug by sweet Death? The "I" at ...

I am not an angel as I comb back my hair, because I swear at God all the while in my head in, vile, twisted words like the teeth of ...

Being honest here, but this wasn't particularly poetic. It was a bit too literal, and there was nothing about this poem that makes it unique or stand out from all ...

Isey is a rather interesting name. I'm curious what the in-story explanation for it is. That said, she does not sound like a healthy individual; quite the opposite, in fact. ...

I was not expecting to see a prose poem. I am overjoyed to see a prose poem. The form is so under-appreciated, and you did a wonderful job working within ...

Needew Just a comment, but this name makes me think "need ew" with "ew" as in "grossness". That said, it is consistent with the name of his country, so it's ...

The one thing that really stood out to me was the names of the locations. Why did you choose Fallujah and La Paz? Fallujah is located in Iraq while La ...

Poetry is inherently a spoken form of expression; all poems should be written to be read aloud, so your disclaimer strikes me as being quite odd. from this Sage? This ...

I read the last line as "underneath the stairs". Yeah. I do confuse myself on a rather regular basis. That said, I believe the reason why Dreamwalker linked you to ...

The one major change I see that is in major needing is paragraphing. Giant blocks of text like this are not very reader-friendly, and having them is a great way ...

Never say never is all I have to say. The most recent film adaptations of Lord of the Rings were pretty darned great, even though they deviated from the books. ...

I... don't know what to say. The dialogue is so horribly unrealistic and unbelievable. NO fornicating while I'm here or at least warned first... Aside from the latter half not ...

That's... a lot of commas. Wow. And as one who happens to like commas, using them whenever, and wherever, grammatically possible, I'm going to have to say that that, right ...

I'm assuming Ayo is a name? In which case, you should have a comma after it. Whenever you address someone directly in writing, their name or form of address is ...