Journalism Internship

The one major change I see that is in major needing is paragraphing. Giant blocks of text like this are not very reader-friendly, and having them is a great way to deter readers. Considering you want the people reading applications to read yours, this is a very bad thing.

There's also the matter of how, with this being a writing-related internship, you really need to display excellent writing skills. Giant block paragraphs aren't exactly confidence-inspiring when it comes to writing skills as paragraphing is one of those things that unskilled writers frequently struggle with.

Now, if this had been an application for an internship, I'd say the focus needed to be skewed more towards the skills you possess, but college applications are more about displaying enthusiasm and commitment, and those are found in abundance here. You might still want to consider including a bit more about the skills you've gained through your internship as it will show that you are competent in addition to committed and enthusiastic, which is always a good thing.

Okay this needs a lot of work. My edits are in red. Also a couple of tips at the conclusion.

qtpie212 wrote:I love writing and always wanted to have a profession that was based on writing. For a short periodof time I hoped to be an English teacher or professor. but later realized my true passion was physically writing, not reading and grading other people’s workwritings. Soon after, I aspired to be a famous poet; one who will win the Nobel Prize and have her work revered by the public and scholars aliketaught in schools across the globe. I still hope to win the Nobel Prize, but after last summer the Pulitzer Prize became my primary goal. Last summer I interned at a local newspaper, The Jewish Star. It was there that I took my first steps into the journalistic worldand now I'm ready to runI never want to walk out. I had firsthand experience and learned many valuable techniques as I observed my adviser. He taught me how to write and edit articles; an art I fell in love with and hope to master at [college]perfect throughout my years. During my past internship I was given the opportunity to write articles for the paper and even had a few published. The thrill of seeing my name in print for the first time and the pride I felt when looking at my accomplishments inspired me to persevere with my dream of becoming a journalist. It introduced me to a new world, one I only had a small taste of and am still unfamiliar with. It taught me that journalism is not only a personal accomplishment but also a holistic commitment to the community. The lead is my crime scene and I am the personal investigator who must fit the pieces together into a clear, unbiased story in order to keep the community aware and safe./

The fire is my enemy and the hose is my weapon and I am the warrior who wants to kill the fire to keep everyone safe.

I respect fire, like a burly beast, caged and foaming at the mouth. For me there is no greater responsibility in our society than protecting people from the beast.

To me, journalism is more than simple writing, it is life in a nutshell.