Kaedee

Hey specs! I like the story idea so far. It's promising, and interesting. You seem to have a solid plot developed too, which is great. But, the main problem in ...

Hey there! Kaedee here. Run-on Sentences I found a handful of these throughout your piece, but here are some examples of what I mean. Watching as sunlight glistened upon silky ...

Hi Cer1553! The girl let out a high-pitched screech It's not wrong or incorrect to use "screech" in this sentence, but I feel like it just doesn't fit well. When ...

Heya, wolf! The first thing that stands out to me when I scan over your work is how huge your paragraphs are. xD Paragraphs like those are very hard for ...

Hi Griff, Kaedee here. Overall, I think you did a good job with this being a school assignment and all. But, as Daughter said, this felt a teensy bit rushed, ...

Hai Lindsay! Kaedee here to review. Someone once said that if life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. But another someone also said that if the going gets tough, the ...

Hey Daughter! Kaedee here to review! Like Alpha said, the dialog in this piece is a bit awkward. Teenagers don't really speak as formally as Eric and Brittany do. For ...

Hi Noelle! Kaedee here to review. This was sweet. I really didn't think that the mother would get her child in the end! I thought that this piece was emotional, ...

Hey neon! :3 Kaedee here to review. Okay so let ' s get something straight here. First, we ' re not real jesters, that ' s just our code name. ...

Hey Mikko! Kaedee here to review. Yeah, I think this is a better start for a novel than this being just a single short story, since this doesn't feel quite ...

Hey Dragonette! It's me again. Mainly, I wish you could add even more sensory details to your story. For example, if you did, I would be able to picture the ...

Hi Jash. Wow. You have a lovely voice! :D The lyrics are nice too, along with the melody. I wish I had more to say, but...when will you be posting ...

Hi Dragonette! Oh, I loved these books. :3 I'm glad that the main character in this fanfiction is a girl, to make things different. I think you did a good ...

Heeyy Erica! I'm this really a short story? Or will you turn this into a novel, and have this be the first chapter? This would be a fine first chapter ...

Hi Ranger! Overall, this was pretty well-written and touching. Adding the little girl into the story was great. Her actually being present, sitting next to her father made me really ...