KJ

I knew exactly what that poison was too, betrothal. Should be colon instead of comma. I was to marry him and bare his children and take care of his house. ...

First of all, welcome to YWS. I saw that this hasn't gotten any critiques yet, so I thought I'd give it a go :) Tick tock, tick tock, the pendulum ...

“You already tried that. What do chances hold? Broken promises,” She muttered The S shouldn't be capatilized. “With pleasure,” Comma should be period. That was... confusing. Was there two girl

Hey Ash. I'm glad you finally got around to posting this. Took you long enough :) Okay, so the comma thing. You're missing them where they should be some and ...

I don't think this is a Prologue - it seems more like a Preface. And it's fine. It's attention-grabbing, and intriguing. My advice to you would to add some insight ...

Ash- I've already read this. I believe you printed it off for me. And I feel bad, but I'm going to be honest: I don't particularly like this chapter. Isadora ...

You asked me to review this quite a while ago, and I know it's shameful that I haven't gotten to it until now. But here I finally am, as promised, ...

It was hers now, now that her Father was dead. Here’s an opportunity to show Jo’s emotions. As stated, it is lacking in this story. How does Jo feel about ...

1. Is it still interesting? Interesting would be the perfect word for it, yes. It’s not exciting, but it does make the reader curious and desire a bit more. 2. ...

Gradually, as they had made their way up the cobblestone road each man had departed, either for a different tavern or because some pretty whore had caught their eye. Comma ...

Decided to edit another chapter today. Also, I’ve pointed out where you’re missing commas, instead of just telling you you’re missing them. Thought it would be more helpful. As predicted ...

Merchants would hurry down to check out the cargo Just a tiny nitpicks, but "check out" seems too mondern a phrase for a story in this time setting. “Alright men ...

She yawned and stretched, her oval face tilted towards the sun who spilled generously across her features I don't like the word use of 'who'. I would use something like ...

I really enjoyed this. It's, as stated already, very unique. I was a little confused about who the voices were and where there were exactly (are they inside the MC's ...

First off, I liked how you went back and forth in this piece. Once I was starting to get bored with the MC's reality, I was brought back to her ...