Justagirl

The city itself had been built uniquely, whereas - instead of streets in a flat grid - it had instead been constructed as a system of circular terr-aces, each one ...

The boys had wanted to get moving, and so we 'd slung our cloth e s bags over our shoulders, and (took out a comma here) greedily wolfing down a ...

Just as good! The only thing is... You’re the girl everyone loves, Shining in all your golden glory. He’s a pretty little Lucifer, (Too dark and dangerous for you, angel) ...

Hey iheartbooks! This is a really great poem and I love your rhyme scheme. You're emotion and word structure is also really good too ;) It has beautiful flow until ...

The truck groaned , d oors slammed , a violent screech. Some howled as they went , dragged out on their bloody knees. Soon a ll three of us collapsed ...

You stole my innocence, my virginity, but Mr. Rapist you will not steal my child, an unborn baby, my unborn baby. Killing her by abortion would only let you win, ...

But I knew that every murder had to have a motive, and I could not think of any reasons at all why she could get killed. (I added a break) ...

You’re running away. You’re running away. My T-shirt was getting soaked because of all the blood that had come from my arm, I started to feel dizzy, but I managed ...

This is a great poem. Your flow is really great and I saw no grammatical errors. My only nitpick is the last stanza. Hatred and anger, violence and pain. Bitter ...

The tent was burning mellow amber inside – a surreal spectacle. Not one of us spoke the question upon our lips ; was the hip-deep snow beginning to melt? Allow ...

Contrary to what others have said I think this is a great poem! :D I saw no grammatical problems (yay) and the only thing I'll comment on is... From this ...

I could tell out almost instantly the popular girls, the jocks, the geeks, and the nerds. But I dropped down on the popularity scale real quick (took out the suffix ...

Great job with this Shay! I love your characters and I know exactly where you got this idea... But I never knew you could write such awesome plays! The only ...

t o stir a vivid spectacle . advance a m irage, make it blossom within the b lackest, most sinful depths of my mind . (kinda re-positioned that whole stanza... ...

I shouldn’t have gone along with this , You forgot to italicize the "I" at the beginning of the sentence... Most think we’re just friends, or colleagues, but occasionally we ...