Published June 17, 2011
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140,771 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hey iheartbooks!
This is a really great poem and I love your rhyme scheme. You're emotion and word structure is also really good too
It has beautiful flow until the first two lines of the last stanza. They're just, kinda... Off, ya know?
Anyways, awesome job! You've earned a 'Like' from me
Keep writing,
Alzora
wow this is an amazing poem i realy love it!
Hey there!
This is fantastic- it flows so well! I especially love the second last line - I found it the most powerful of them all. I love how this captures an in-control, not-about-to-go-down-without-a-fight mindset. Brilliant.
This is really good. You have some emotions in this poem. I like how the emotions show up in the poem especially at the end.
Thanks guys! inkwell: I'll look into punctuation. bsbfan19: thank you, I rely on emotion to write poems, so I'm glad it shows.
This is nice. I didn't get anything deep from it, but the format is very lyrical and I hope you write some music for this. It could benefit from some additional punctuation at parts to guide the reader as to where there's a pause. Example: after "souls" in the fourth stanza. Should I pause after that word or just go straight to "will"? The end of the line doesn't have an inherit pause in poetry.
By the way, I love the tone of the poem. It has a certain tenderness, but empowerment at the same time.
Wow thats an amazing poem. You really know how to catch emotion and put it into details
good job, and keep up the good work!