Jiggity

It’s crazy to see how the mind clings to things it might never experience again That wouldn't come out a twelve year old's mouth today, let alone in the olden ...

Shocked out of it, yes, okay, but you have overdone it just a bit. I'm going to go ahead and assume there's a reason why a) the King is such ...

Now, that just ticks me off. Like I said in the first scene, before you even begin the play, there has to be a character list, with ages, names and ...

I spoke the last time on interaction for the sake of interaction, regarding interaction. Ha, that is to say, the lack of substance. Right now, all the dialogue and every ...

I didn't like this. I thought it was - although an interesting premise - poorly done. Dialogue is the heart and soul of the play. And I struggled to find ...

............. Er. Was that meant to be a serious...anything? I mean, its really nothing. It's nowhere near the right format for it to be counted as a script, and unless ...

This is a very oddly written piece. He ha d n’t been home in so long ; this town paved with broken promises and dreams long dead and gone. The ...

Wow, those are all great reviews. All the nits have been picked, it seems, so I'm going to keep this general. I really didn't enjoy this. At all. Style and ...

Hola. I actually liked the rail-road description. I would keep it. They sky is dented. [s]Dented up like the front of an old Ford pick-up.[/s] The sky is dented. Just ...

Well written and very nicely done. Only, its very repetitive. I mean, really, you only ever say the same thing, over and over again. As if simple reflection - which ...

Clair Stowe mulled over it frequently in the later years to come Why? I mean, why put this random authorial omniscience here? It's out of place, halts the flow and ...

Oh noes! Skonk became Snonk! I mean, in the last line anyway. You should fix that typo. Is someone subconsciously channeling/thinking about Snoink? XD I felt this was forced. The ...

It was, I thought - until only a few months ago - the best fantasy series ever written. It's vaster in scope than any that came before it (bar one) ...

I'm becoming a serial offender. I would move this chapter to 4th, and bring the 4th forward. It makes sense that after this chapter, Haart feels the need to bring ...

Nania! Lol. Love it. * Okay, so remember what I said in the last chapter? About difference? Those small details, I mentioned - whether the grass is an absurd shade ...