Jeanette

Wow, long comments. Anyways, thanks guys for commenting! I know the story's a bit rough (I actually wrote a couple years ago, and didn't go over it to fix grammatical ...

Awesome subject, and very nice details. It feels like it rhymes when in actuality it doesn't always. It has a very good rhythm, though the meaning can be sketchy, maybe ...

Thanks for reviewing! I've gotten another review that critiqued the way I introduced characters (it was on the other story, I moved it because someone paired another story with mine). ...

Wow, long review. First off, the one thing that bugged me in your review (and I do understand that it's a review so it's supposed to bug me-so to speak) ...

...I think I'm doing this right...Anyways, we'll see. The repetition of words was an attempt to pull things together (make connections in the mind, I'm guessing it got too repetitive ...