Inkswirl

Hello, comments in bold :) Also - presentation, break up your paragraphs properly and all, dialogue in a new line each time - it would make it much easier to ...

Hello, comments in bold :) Also - presentation, break up your paragraphs properly and all, dialogue in a new line each time - it would make it much easier to ...

Hello, finally here :) Comments in bold. “Old man, take a look at my life, I’m a lot like you.” It’s one of your favorite songs and I can’t help ...

Hello, I'm finally here :) Comments in bold. Raleigh sat casually at the bar and waited until the bartender noticed her. "I don't know how you got in, but I'm ...

Hello :) Comments in bold. Mind you, I haven't read the other chapters, so I might be focusing more on style than theme/plot itself, but I'll do my best :) ...

Hi :) Comments in bold. Also, I haven't read the text so some comments I might make regarding that might be irrelevant to someone who has... but I'll do my ...

Hi! :) Comments in bold. "you're kidding right?" As everyone else mentioned - GRAMMAR! Edit way more carefully before posting something next time, make sure you don't have small mistakes ...

Hello :) First up, I agree with Pink so I'm not going to repeat those points - about the italics and further elaboration on the world etc. But I'm going ...

Hi :) Comments in bold. I looked out the window. I was sitting on the window seat in my bedroom. I hadn't slept much, maybe an hour at most, but ...

Hello there, Flower. One comment I'd like to make before even starting to review - don't post things in block text like this, break it up into paragraphs because it's ...