If_Rocks_Could_Fly

"I feel so stupid, it doesn't matter who they are because one of them were staring at me!" was instead of were A shooting star, I made my wish, one ...

One word: brilliant That was absolutly amazing. the way everything is set up just right. The little details make this a great read. After the first three paragraphs I could ...

Her crew was busy; bustling around on the deck, making sure everything was perfect. Kill the semicolon, if you must have a pause there use a comma, same with the ...

You might want to check through it again for grammar and spelling issues, I found many and I'm sure I missed some because I did not read very carefully. The ...

This first section of your story was well written in my opinion but just as eleinasari said, there is way too much information way too fast. Try spacing it out ...