IceCreamMan

I agree with everyone who said this is too vague. If you are just writing for yourself, that isn't an issue, but since you posted it online I assume you ...

Hey there, nice to see you are trying your hand at poetry. It's a lovely thing to spend time doing. For a first poem, this is actually quite good. Poetry ...

Wow, this truly is a very different sort of poem than I am used to reading. Kudos for being unique and yet cliche at the same time, as others have ...

I rather enjoyed this piece, even though I didn't get the references and had to look at your explanation for it to make sense. It isn't overly cryptic. Even if ...

This is awesome! I don't agree with Abigail (nothing personal, of course)...the use of "feet" in the poem is perfect. There is no reason to change that; in fact, doing ...

I love the poem this is based on, and thought you did a very good job of making your own version using the existing structure. Here are a few points ...

I think this could work quite well as a spoken poem. I've been to a few poetry slams at local cafés and such, and the style in which you wrote ...

First impression: I liked it. I felt like some of the rhyming was too forced, but to make up for it the imagery and vocabulary are much better than what ...

I apologize in advance for responding before reading your entire post, but you need to edit this and put a space between each paragraph. I am assuming that you copied ...

I'm sortof confused as to whether or not we are allowed to debate about this since its in the nonfiction section, but I'll just put in a couple words. First ...

This is extremely picky but I think that this line: About the funerals of my old friends. Might need changing. Why? Because when I was reading it all I could ...

It was pretty good, but as xanthan said, some of the imagery is not really that moving or interesting or useful or whatever. Basically, theres a lot of imagery, but ...

Blood and brain matter was everywhere; too much too clean quickly. He went quickly to the computer and was just in time to see a message pop up: The part ...

I loved this piece so much! It was so hilarious and such a fresh idea (who'd ever think of writing a story about demons having a funeral for prez Bush? ...

I am reading Grapes of Wrath for school as well. It is very well written and intrigueing, but the pace at which our crazy teacher is making us read it ...