Gazza_14

She only had herself to sulk with. Screaming was just shouting at the walls, who didn't really care that a perfectly good story had been ruined. Su left the pastel-coloured ...

It does say in the first part that Lilac is sitting on 'Global Inc.' and that she can feel the world puslating 'below her'. Do you think that's not enough ...

'It all sounds very dramatic,' Rover said. 'It was meant to be like the old-earth trains,' Lilac continued 'Except instead of riding on tracks it was to ride over the ...

A lifeless body slumped against the floor. 'Get rid of her,' It said. A circle of robots, glimmering under the dim light of the office, clutched the limp, heavy body ...

Thanks for all yout crit so far. Mr. Toad is a rat humanoid, meaning that he is has the basic shape of human, but the appearance of a rat. The ...

**** Her boots thudded against the plush carpet as she trooped the other side of the hallway. She was shaking, unfamiliar jolts of excitement shooting across her stomach. She could ...

'That's a joke isn't it? You're joking?' Lilac's voice jumped between octaves, her eyes swimming with fear 'Tell me...tell me that that was some rubbish little joke you've come up ...

********** 'Oh baby, I'm home.' Out of the stainless steel skyline that cut across the horizon of Violet Lights, one building stuck out unlike any other. The Sewer System Nightclub. ...

I thought this was a solid script. Obviously you wrote it in a perhaps a bit of a rush, but I thought it flowed well. It's fun to take characters ...

Ah good stuff, my favourites are numbers 1 and 6. Sureal, you must succed Tony Blair and lead this country to greatness.

Like the talking tiger said, this was short but a very vivid, colourful opening. I loved the opening lines about her mind, very poetic. Post more though, then people can ...

Nice. Although you're description of Julianne could be smoother. An improvement nonetheless.

Great stuff. I can't find anything wrong really. You've clearly got this autobiography feel just right. We're given just enough detail of everything, and with a sprinkling of sparkling wit, ...

Well, you've made a great first impression. And this is the last thing i'll post on here, as it is off-topic, but it is not the forum is need of ...

Okay Gaia, you're going to need to adopt a better attitude. If you were expecting people to say: "Oh my god, that was literary perfection. DO NOT change a single ...