Gazza_14

Great! Like stirly, I spotted spelling mistakes, and you build a Lot of intrigue for the characters. You really conveyed a character to us. Two things: 1) I didn't get ...

This is just kind of frantic. Everything happens too fast. Being a film fanatic, the best stories are teh ones that can keep the plot moving whilst revealling more about ...

The last paragraph, I love. The last line feels akward some how, but I like it. There's some spelling stuff, but you're first language isn't English, so that was obviously ...

I like it. Yeah, it's a rip-off but a really good one, and I loved that film anyway. The characters were good, and you stayed on the right side of ...

It's a nice play, but as Dreamdeep pointed out the dialog was occasionally redundant. There were a couple of grammatical errors (your when it should be you're, etc) but other ...

If you jump down people's throats when they try and help they wont bother doing a crit for you again. They're right. You're prolouge isn't needed, and seems a bit ...

A Miss. E story? Doesn't randomian guy do them? They're normally funny, but this one is all over the place. You're trying to be very "random", and perhaps it just ...

That was well cool, keep going! KIDDING! (I know, i'm a hoot) Really, really liked thit story. It was so atmospheric, and like many have touched on it was how ...

Sorry this is a pretty pathetic crit, but i just wanted to say that's a nice story, and it runs quite smoothly, but the start is a bit too clunky ...

That was good, definetely interesting and kept my interest, which is a bonus in itself. Although, i do think the characters were introduced far too fast. One minute they're entering ...

Good story. I definitely want to see more but your opening let you down. Despite instantly explaining the situation it was too bland and the scene in the jury was ...

Good story, the beginning could to with some tweaks but it was very good and you set the scene perfectly. I felt very drawn to it. The style used was ...

Great opening!! Really draws you in, and I instantly felt so involved in the story. The style was hardly unique but it was somehow different and I really enjoyed that. ...

I thoroughly agree with Reichieuru above. All her views are great points for improvement. This story just didn't attract me, the story really didn't flow. There was something almost awkward ...