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Thanks, both of you! I think you're missing the point with the periods. Unfortunately, YWS doesn't allow for any real formatting, and this is the closest I can come. They ...

Oh, I love this book! It's wonderfully written. I haven't read it in a while; once I'm done with my current crop of, um, about seven books, I'll have to ...

;) Anything for you, Ed!

General rule of thumb: if you instinctively add a note that your poem is mindless and has no purpose, it should be posted in your blog, and no where else.

Hm. I'm thinking this should be moved to one of the prose forums. As to the writing itself, it's an interesting, abstract little snippet that has a good deal of ...

Dear, if you didn't write it, it doesn't belong in this forum. Maybe in the Lounge, or the Christian usergroup, but not here. This is for writers to post their ...

Piranha stole all my comments before I even read the poem, I'm afraid. This is truly gorgeous, Muse; I love the alliteration, and the imagery is so vibrant, especially since ...

shanan-cat and ink_on_fire: I believe revolver-x decided to remove the poem; hence, the ellipses. Can we get a mod here to lock this?

Thanks, yoyo! I know what you mean about the eyebrow tweezers line--I've been trying to come up with a better way to word it, but I'm at a loss. And ...

Lovely. I think the only suggestion I could make is to make us see how the woman is mischievous, and then cut that word out--it's rather ungainly, and though concision ...

*snorts* I'm not sure which was funnier: the poem, or the fact that abbisnail copied one of your tried-and-true snarky methods to criticize your poem. I like it. It's frothy ...

Clau: Thanks! Fixed the typo. gadi: I never mentioned them in so many words; that stanza, though, is what gives the poem a background. Sir Trident: Hail! Someone got it. ...

This poem was an exercise in cliche and repetition. Scrap it and start over. Cheers.

... Well, it was vaguely humorous. It wasn't poetry.

Those were rhetorical questions, dear. ^~ They're things to think about while writing poetry. And a general rule of thumb is that if the message of the poem, or what ...