Fand

Euclidean's already covered everything I had to mention, so I'll leave it to a bit of well-deserved praise, which every poet thrives on. ^~ This is truly lovely, Skye. The ...

First of all--I agree with Colleen in that your linebreaks seem a little arbitrary, and at times do the flow no favors. Speak the lines aloud, paying special attention to ...

Now, I'm all for breaking convention in poetry--as long as there's a good reason for it. If you can coherently explain why you chose not to capitalize any of the ...

Punctuation, boy! Where's the punctuation? That'll be the lesson for this critique then, I suppose. Why is punctuation in poetry so important? It tells you how to read it! And, ...

...Short with short lines would have been better. This is too long, and trips over itself the whole time. It has the potential to be amusing--but you drown it with ...

It was kind of amusing, and I actually enjoyed the rhyme--which, in this sort of lighthearted piece really can work quite nicely. Usually I'm very anti-rhyme, as it's easy for ...

O.o "Beneath eager shears lies a wolf" - ...I'm not sure what you're trying to say. "Eager shears?" Shears are scissors. The wolf under the scissors... well, it's an interesting ...

Hm. Well. You have some decent imagery. Unfortunately, most of it is far too overblown, and drowned with description. Yes, that's right--imagery does not necessarily require oodles and oodles of ...

“But the cotton’s alight, dear, and you’re much too charred to take that test.”

O where shall we put our faith Our God, our inner quest Our every desire for knowledge Shall I pen it down? Hm. Well. The way it's written that's quite ...

Every ending seems to be another beginning in my life and the ending that started them all was when Mother died. It has been seven years now, but I still ...

“Skin as porcelain? More like rubber, my pet, peeling away as tires do.” It's a long line, and it's dialogue, which immediately puts me on the defensive--but I like it. ...

You've outdone yourself, Cal. It took me a while to warm up to it--I'm always hesitant about dialogue in poetry--but this was, on the whole, very well done. A few ...

Wow, Ari. That was amazing! It seems like everyone else has already covered most of the nitpicks, so I thought I'd just let you know how fantastically written it was. ...

The rhythm in the beginning is beautiful, beloved; the flow is absolutely perfect. Usually a full stop at the end of each line would be a complete turn-off, but it ...