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Re: The Story (PG-13 for sensitive subject)
I agree with most of the corrections the others said so looks like I can just skip that part xD You have a pretty catchy style. The whole varying the ...
Apr 1, 2010 -
Re: The Pillars of Creation
I was drawn to this poem because of the interesting title. Nice job with it! Your poem is quite beautiful. You created vivid imagery and used delicate words. The punctuation ...
Jan 5, 2010 -
Re: do you feel it
My heart beats, My arms bruise, My life falls apart in front of my eyes. Just one little mistake, Only one more cut, What will it hurt its just a ...
Jan 5, 2010 -
Re: Silence: Chapter 2
Here are a few nitpicks (with compliments mixed in): It would’ve never been this wet in Dallas. Another reason why Dallas rules over Washington. Personal opinion—I think the sentences would ...
Jan 5, 2010 -
Re: Dynamite
I’ve never trusted pretty words Pretty sure I never will Whether or not you intentionally used "pretty" in both lines, I like that repetition. Forget about leading me to water ...
Jan 3, 2010 -
Re: I don't care
Hi, I'm Fairy and I'll critique your lyrics. I don’t care if you cry, If you cry over water, I don’t care if you die, If you die under water, ...
Jan 3, 2010 -
Re: All of the Stars
Hi Jetpack, I'm Fairy and I'll comment/critique your work today. I saw your topic among the list of others and the title stood out. First thought: reminds me of Oasis! ...
Oct 13, 2009 -
Re: TEARS
Hi Kikaharu, I'm Fairy and I'll critique your piece today. The bolded and red parts are changes I made/suggest. "Wait..." I say. He stops, and turns around. This guy, I ...
Oct 11, 2009
