ExOmelas

No, I get that he's a side character. It's that the only reason I get that is because you explained it to me. You have to make it clear that ...

This is something you need to make a lot clearer. If this gets published you will not be able to tell your reader these things, so it has to come ...

I actually have some doubts about something I added since it was last reviews. I won't tell you what it is in case that influences you but it'll be good ...

thank you! You may have found the wrong chapter 2. There is an unfinished version up there that I can't figure out how to take down but the finished chapter ...

Yeah :)

Thanks for the review! Oh, btw, 'focussed' is the British spelling :)

Thanks for the review :) I'm just learning not to use adverbs so I'm still a bit bumpy with speech. I'll keep working on it!

When you say I did a 'pretty good job', it would be helpful if you told me what I could have done to make it a 'great job' :) but ...

Ok thanks, I get what you mean now :-)

OTT means Over The Top. I think I understand what you mean... It's just... How is the reader supposed to know who's speaking if I don't give it a tag?

Ok, thanks again :)

Thanks for the review. It's funny, you can read chapters a dozen times and still not see things until other people point them out. So thank you for pointing these ...

Oh also, could you give just a couple more examples of OTT language? Just so I know what I'm looking for.

Thanks for the help! Though I should mention that he's actually a swimming prodigy on his local team and he's comparing it to swimming competively. I promise promise promise that ...

Thank youuuuu :)