ExOmelas

Awesome, thanks for the review! :D

Cool, cool :)

No worries :D (and fair enough)

Okay, that's all fine, as long as everything you've said in there comes out in story. For a normal reader who won't be able to interact with you, that's all ...

Going to reply to everything I can remember in one: 3.1 - Will try to get more of Treego's wryness in here. Maybe have some more about him watching the ...

Awesome :D

Yeah, this entire chapter is like 5 parts long. It's tough trying to find 5 different splits. This is in between Steve's boss being nasty to him and Steve's friend ...

Ooh that's an important point. In my head it's a coincidence, but it might be interesting to have the reporter having followed Camillo. He'd just lost - that's big. She ...

Brilliant, thanks for the review! I'll look through this tomorrow and see what I can do about the phrasing :)

Oh also, could you let me know when the next chapter is up? Would very much nice to read.

Thanks for the review :)

Hm... ok so the first time you pick that up it's because he feels energised by Camillo and follows him to loosen up. Will make this more explicit. With the ...

Oops, the birthday party thing will come up in my next review as well, ignore that. Okay, maybe want to make that more obvious then. Toki seems much easier to ...

Oh awesome :)

Ah, I see. Fair enough :)