Envy-the-Sinners

I was going to say that Part Two needs some editing, but you’ve said that yourself already. :) I don’t know if you’re still looking for reviews seeing as you ...

I’ve reviewed this story, because it looks promising, and it’s well-written. I have a tendency to nitpick... :P But you don’t have to agree with everything, of course! I loved ...

Hey airbear320, I really enjoyed reading this. I was hooked from the very first sentence. You immediately pull the reader into your story. Your writing is to the point and ...

This is very well written. I loved it! I like the way you write; your story has a nice flow and the descriptions are good. You give the reader enough ...

I agree with what has been said before. The beginning of the story doesn’t hook the reader. The first sentence is too long and too descriptive. The paragraphs that follow ...

I agree with Cheshire-Writer , the story doesn’t seem to follow a constant flow. You also don’t use a lot of descriptions; you’re telling the readers what is happening, but ...