EmmaJane

“You’re right. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for me. Because I’m a selfish son-of-a-bitch.” She stared at her mother, who had her hands clenched and jaw ...

Heya, that was fast! :D but I'm not complaining. Right. Sorry if I sound a bit brisk, but I accidentally deleted my half-done review so now I'm retyping it, damn ...

Hey! So interesting story. One thing I am AMAZED the other two didn't pick up - and it is a MAJOR pet-peeve of mine - is: “Em your drunk we ...

“Your Majesty,” whispered Dinah, “I am anxious to hear of your selection. The king bid them farewell. On a normal day, the two would have only started their training, but ...

Urm... "honey coloured?" "...yellow?" huh, I really can't think of anything. Syrup coloured? Jeez, these really aren't that good, are they. Oh well, moving on to the actual review. not ...

In the old days families would make cousins marry to keep the money in the family. Not sure if it has any effect on the baby, but I doubt it. ...

Well, I guess I'm out of a job. :D This was great. I couldn't pick out a single error, only nit-picks. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of ...

Hey :D This caught my eye :) The night was perfect for an evening stroll, but yet, the area was deserted, blank as sheet of paper. You don't need the ...

Okay. Paragraphing is definitely the issue here, but has been covered by red_roses :D Tense. Is this in future or past? Pick one and stick with it. I glanced up ...

Hey :) I also have a problem with the "she had won" it casts her in totally the wrong light, making her look scheming and evil. And more description needed. ...

Hey! This was amazing. I loved the poetic-sounding language you used. I can't believe only one other person has reviewed this! Chatter erupted from their fallacious lips, reflected in the ...

Hey. :) This was very good. I think it's okay that you've gone for the best-friends-in-love thing. If everyone tried to be really different then they wouldn't really be different.. ...

Aw! It was so sad! Poor girl! But it was also pretty good. You were great at getting her emotions across and explaining the relationship between her and her sister. ...

Hey :) Won't annoy you with yak about paragraphing. You've probably got the gist. Someone else speaks, new line. Yar? That's your main problem, sort that out and you're awesome. ...

Ah. okay. Perhaps you could put the time (1875) at the start of the chapter, Like: Chasing Shadows Chapter I – Bloody Rose 1875 If you're writing in that time ...