Eliza:)

Strangers In The Wilderness Eitan and his family had been driving through the vast expanse of destruction for over an hour and the scenery still hadn't changed. Burning smoking piles ...

People were dying everywhere, it didn’t seem fair for me The sentence should be split between everywhere and it . People say I shouldn’t care. You switched tense here. Either ...

I totally forgot. It hurt me more than ever that I did. I got depressed and was ever in a foul mood. I ate to make myself feel better,but that ...

“Come on, honey. You can do it,” Mother chirped, hovering in front of me. Her wings beat slowly downward , keeping her airborne. The sun reflected off her bright red ...

And the wives and children, fathers and mothers…brothers , sisters, cousins…they wait. There should be a comma between mothers and brothers. No; it’s just the wind. The semicolon should be ...

I walk to where my imposter brother lies. Imposter is spelled impostor. Her normal, classy, appearance now a disarray of horror and realisation. Realisation is spelled realization. I had to... ...

I took my last breath, the last gulp of air. I felt free, free underneath the world, under the water. I was just floating, looking at my sightings. I was ...

There were three main reasons why people ended up at Saint Peter’s. One: they were kicked out of so many schools that it was the only one that would accept ...

It took all my dwindling will power to keep myself from passing out and falling like a fool onto the auditorium floor. Apparently, a lot of kids were scared of ...

An instinct we all have, but not all of us use. You're missing a word at the end. your typical 21 years old guy. Spell out numbers. A specific group ...

In this Chapter, the 5 priests and the Decton leave their planet and go to meet the D'scites at the Core. Don't tell the reader what the chapter is about. ...

“Get to school.” Use another word besides get . 1st period, Spell out numbers. 2nd period, 3rd period, the morning dragged on slowly. Use a semicolon or period after 3rd ...

A rim is still screaming for the ball, but when they rendezvous all that is heard is a whisper between the two. When you say two, are you talking about ...

I was his favourite. Favourite should be favorite. They jeered at me and told their friends they knew I was wrong in the head. This part doesn't make sense. Why ...

Your story is good, but there are a few problems. At the beginning of a sentence, you should always capitalize the first word. Instead of: a cold, morning breeze entered ...