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Re: Winter Chapter 1
Welcome to YWS! First of all, great job on this. The imagery was beautiful and I could visualize it really well. My suggestions: Surrounded by the forest that was holding ...
Dec 31, 2010 -
Re: S.N.I.P.E.Rs Prologue
Wow. That is a really unique way to write a prologue. Great job! That would be so creepy to listen to that on the phone. Anyways, I found a nitpick ...
Jul 30, 2010 -
Re: The Forest Again (through Voldemort's eyes)
Hey, Enigma! I really liked this story. The description was wonderful and I could picture what was going on vividly. My only comment is that it seems...too like the book, ...
Jul 4, 2010 -
Re: Never a Happy Ending
Hi silentpages! Wow. This was amazing. So sad, but amazing. You did such a great job at pulling at our heartstrings and retelling this story of the "Little Mermaid". Sorry, ...
May 29, 2010 -
Re: All A Bit Too Freaky Deaky (Prologue)
Hi FreakyDeaky! I'm Earthfire, and I'll be your reviewer today. I really liked this story. It's original and the beginning caught my attention right away. :smt001 Great job! The only ...
May 26, 2010 -
Re: Antheya Chapter One
Hi LauraElizabeth! I'm Earthfire and I'll be your reviewer. First of all: Bravo! :smt001 This was a really interesting story which drew me right in. I love how you kept ...
May 25, 2010 -
Re: Adrenaline
Hi RiverStar! That was beautiful. I loved how you described everything so poetically, it just brought the image of the story to my mind. There are just a few things ...
May 23, 2010 -
Re: deleted
Hi LaReina! I really liked this story. You made it seem authentic and just right for the time period that you're writing about. The only suggestion that I have is ...
May 23, 2010 -
Re: Neyri
Hello! This story was cool. I really liked how you described the creature. I just have a few nitpicks that I found: Jamie could just see a muscular tail propping ...
May 22, 2010 -
Re: Running Away
Hi KAH! I'm Earthfire. I'm not really good at reviewing poetry, but I'll give this a try. I've read the book Crispin, by the way, so I think it's cool ...
May 21, 2010 -
Re: The Popsicles
Hi RainWanderer! I'm Earthfire and I'll be your reviewer today. This story made me laugh. I love over-dramatizing everyday stuff too. Great job! :smt001 I didn't see the word "hot" ...
May 19, 2010 -
Re: Rosebushes [p.2/2]
Hi! I really liked this story. You were telling it in a "proper" voice which added to the effect. :smt001 Great job! The only thing I was wondering about was ...
May 19, 2010 -
Re: Warriors: From SIlver Light and Grey Dark: Chapter 1
Hi Allessandre! I'm Earthfire and I'll be your reviewer today. First of all, I just want to remind you about punctuation. You forgot to put apostrophes and periods in some ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: Avarice
Hi! This was really cool. I don't think I would be able to do that sort of challenge. The only thing that I would suggest doing is making it more ...
May 18, 2010 -
Re: Deadly Jealousy
This was a really good essay. Great job! :smt001 The only thing that I would suggest is explain the plot of "Othello" at the beginning for those who haven't read ...
May 18, 2010
