Duskglimmer

Creativityrules - I like the style of this piece - it's very smooth and use of language is great. Your pacing is also very good, and you definitely leave the ...

MooMooMonko - I have to admit that my first reaction to this piece is confusion. There's a lot going on here and I'm not sure I caught it all. Still, ...

Rahul - I'm not entirely sure what comments you are hoping to recieve from this synopsis, so I'm just going to give comments as best I can. This sounds like ...

My suggestions are few and far between. This was very engaging and I got swept up in it almost immediately. I really like the character of the main girl, and ...

Hey Way2Dawn, I found your first chapter online this morning and thought it looked interesting, so I'm trying to catch up on the prologue so I can read it. :) ...

There is always a crack. A crack in the mirror, in his smile, on his lips. This is my favorite piece of the whole poem. There is a very nice ...

Hey Collision, Meaning no disrespect to Ben, I don't think you should shorten this much. There are a few places where things could be parred down a little, but for ...

Hey crescent, I really enjoyed reading this. It took a little while to get moving smoothly, but by the time it ended, I really wished it had been longer. The ...

Hey EAHailstone, This was really nicely written. It had a nice flow and moved along at a good pace. I enjoyed reading it. However, there are a few things that ...

Hey, Aquareed. This is story did a nice job of drawing me in in the first paragraph. The opening lines could use some work, but you present enough information for ...

Begging your pardon, but these are the lyrics to Relient K's song "Sadie Hawkins Dance". Here's a link to those lyrics:

Grif has some excellent points, most of which I agree with. Since two people have already given you a sentence by sentence crit, I'm gonna go a little bit broader. ...

The first paragraph is in a completely different voice then the rest, and honestly, I don't have a clue what was going on in it. Something about someone being born ...

So, I've been on a bit of a vampire kick for the past few months. I blame my friends who introduced me to Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Since ...